Hello all you lovely bloggers!

January 30, 2010

I just want to thank you all who comment, so so much. It means so much to me and I am lucky to get such support when it’s almost impossible to find it even among my family. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are pure gems.

I saw my dietician this morning. She told me point blanc – I need to reach my target. NO EXCUSES. I really need to push ED to his limits and me to mine. So today I did just that. Here are my eats πŸ™‚

Brekkie was rushed a bit..hence no photo. But I had 2 pieces of toast w/ avocado, promite, tomato and a huge apple on the side. By the time I got home I was pretty hungry again sooooo I whipped up this!! πŸ˜€

A wrap which had broccolli, spinach, tempeh, sunflower seed butter, molasses, pumpkin seeds + grilled eggplant with some berries and orange on the side. So filling and lovely. ED told me to chuck away things from the sandwich.. but I didn’t. I win πŸ™‚

For a snacky, I was feeling some veggies.. so I had this..

A huge tomato w/ sesame seeds and promite..Β  and also a huge carrot.

Shortly after this I wasΒ  feeling those pangs again so I chucked some pumpkin, beetroot, onion + tofu in the oven and ended up with..

Roasted and spiced pumpkin, beetroot, onion and tofu salad on a bed of spinach and fluffy quinoa topped with pumpkin seeds. Yum πŸ™‚

ED was telling me not to put the pumpkin seeds on because it was already way too much.. but, again, I win. Screw you, ED!

For dessert, I had a pumpkin/banana soft serve/ice cream/ pudding thing I made..

What ever you want to call it.. it was divine. I made it with a frozen banana and frozen pumpkin, + pumpkin pie spice,Β  crunchy bran cereal, some sultanas, sunflower seed butter and some jam.. All eaten in my favourite christmas mug.

I realize now that I am still under my calories. I realize that ED is putting all his force on me to NOT have anything else, that I’ve had enough, telling me to notice my bloating stomach and (apparently) growing hips. I just stood in the kitchen gripping my head with anxiety and my indecision left me wanting to burst into tears. Why is it so hard for me to just have something else? It’s what I neeeeeeeeeeeed for gods sake. It’s not going to kill me. It’s going to help me. I don’t have a bulging stomach. I don’t have growing hips. If I have something else I will not explode into a rhino overnight. because it’s what I need. So after a lot of war, ifs andΒ  buts, weighing the pros and cons.. I had..

A soy hot chocolate, made with real but vegan chocolate. It was so soothing and relaxing even though I was having it quite late, which was another ED no no i.e ‘no eating after X time’. Ugh.. stupid. It sent me off to bed very nicely.. I don’t feel guilty and amazingly, ED is no where to be found. I feel .. relaxed. Instead of my uptight, anxious, flippping out self normally after every meal/snack. Just goes to show what challenging ED really does. πŸ™‚

Goodnite lovelies.. Remember, tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity! πŸ™‚



  1. Girl! I’m so proud of you for a) reaching your calorie goal, and b) not giving in to ED’s ridiculous lies!

    Your eats sound great πŸ™‚ I especially love the banana/pumpkin soft serve… I’ve made a few variations of that and it is divine.

    You’re doing amazing, hun… Keep it up and stay strong! Challenging ED really is the only way to quieten him down, and I can’t wait to see you kick his butt some more ❀

    • Thank you lovie! You are so sweet.. thank you for your support. πŸ™‚

  2. Hey! I’m glad I have someone that relates to me! Today I was totally sedentary, I mean totally haha. I sat in all day and just blogged and you know what, I feel GREAT! You can do it (: your food looks deeelish!

    • Me too!! I was sedentary as well !! I’m quite proud of myself.. haha. Normally I always have to be DOING something. But today, nothing. Lovely! haha. :))))

  3. aww eva! i am SO proud of you. you did what it took to get where you need to be AND you kicked ED in his tiny little booty! rock on girl πŸ˜€ you are so much stronger and more amazing then him. your eats look delishhh. genius with the nanna soft serve! and that wrap drooool. have a great day xoxo soph

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